Six years ago this past week, I became an Auntie for the second time!
Another girl! She was so tiny and beautiful, but wait, let me back up a minute.
Uma was born 4 weeks before she was due. A home birth that happened so fast that the Doula caught her, the midwife didn’t have time to make it! Uma was born! 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 blue eyes…. Hooray! Another healthy baby girl.. life is awesome.
The next morning came crashing down on our happy parade.
The next morning Gena thought Uma looked off. Her color was funny and she called her midwife. She came over immediately listened to Uma’s heart and said we need to go to the children’s hospital now. They were received in the ER. They had no idea what was happening. My sister and brother in-law where given their own private waiting room. Gena said that she didn’t want her own room, she knew if they were told to wait in the regular room then everything would be okay. But they got their own room. Finally a doctor came in and said that the good news was that after an echocardiogram was performed they discovered that Uma’s heart was fine. My sister asked why wouldn’t her heart be fine. Then the doctor said with a tear in her eye, “We strongly suspect that Uma has Down’s Syndrome. Gena said she felt like in that moment someone pushed her off a cliff. “She needs some testing”…. the testing for Down’s Syndrome takes over 5 days to get a result. They didn’t know what type of Down’s Syndrome it was. Was is it Trisomy 18, 21? Could the baby be Mosaic? Maybe the doctors were wrong? “Oh please let the doctors be wrong.” That’s all my sister could think. She was given Genetic Counseling and sat in semi-catatonic trance, and waited. The testing revealed the results that Uma did indeed have Trisomy 21, a chromosomal condition caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome, AKA Downs Syndrome. We were stunned.
SInce Uma was 4 weeks early, her birthday fell on the day of my sisters would be shower. Having been at the hospital since early morning, my sister came to her shower (reluctantly) to tell her close friends and family about Uma.
The guests arrived and touched my sisters belly with delight and guesses of how big baby would be…. not knowing that she had just given birth 24 hours prior. After everyone had settled in, my sister began her story of Umas’ arrival. Faces gasped, some cried softly, some just stared with compassion and understanding at my sister. We went around the table and all the women blessed my sister with their wise words and love for this new baby and mother. One of her friends (who also happened to be her Doula) stood up and read this poem to my sister… I will never forget it.
“When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.
Poem by Emily Perl Kingsley
After the baby-shower we went back to the hospital to see little Uma. Hooked up to monitors and machines, it was so hard to keep it together.
I couldn’t even imagine what my sister and brother-in -law were going through. They appeared as solid as a rock on the outside, but I could see their pain and confusion running through their minds because it was going through mine too.
Even six years later I am ashamed at myself for thinking such thoughts of ..Why? And how could this happen? and Why us? sigh…knowing what I know now about Uma and Down’s Syndrome I feel foolish for ever thinking such things, but I did.
I cried like a baby that day in the hallway of chidrens hospital as I held a pamphlet that read like a car manual . I stared at this sheet of paper in my hand describing what to be ready for….but more tears streamed down my face as all the stepping stones of her life flashed through my mind. They would be different. Would she be teased? Would she be ok?? … and then a beautiful thought transformed in my head! I had been a Winter Special Olympics coach in high school. Those kids were so awesome, full of love and hope and I could still feel their hugs! Some even skied better than me! I cried happy tears as I knew little Uma would be just fine and that there would be even more love in our family! How right I was! Uma has changed our family and lives for the better.
I’m not gonna lie and say everyday has been peachy-keen these past 6 years. Somedays are hard, some days are really hard ,but most are the sweetest moments when she holds your hand and looks up at you with her arms out because she wants to hug you!
I will say that we are so blessed that Uma has no heart conditions to speak of, her eye sight is looking great and she so incredibly smart. Uma is intergrated into a “regular” class most of her day at school. She can be a bit demanding at times or what I like to call ” DIVA-maintennce” 😉
She knows the words and loves to Dance to West Side Story with her sisters. She will tell you the ways of Master Shifu of Kung -Fu Panda, verbatim 😉 She will melt your heart with her ferocious hugs and gentle kisses that will help make you feel better. Even her “Goo-Mo-Nings” brighten your day! If you ever get to meet Uma you will be forever changed, I know I am.
Did you know that it’s called “Down’s” because it is named after John Langdon Down, the British physician who described the syndrome in 1866. What if his last name would have been Up? Would people look at it differently? Would people still frown at the mention of Up syndrome? How could you not smile at UP’s syndrome
I’ve come across several people who have given me a sad face when I tell them Uma has Down’s. I think children with Down’s are blessed with happiness. There is always a smile to greet you, a hug to hold you and a soft touch to heal your heart.
“So don’t be Down, be Up! -“
There were so many images of Uma it was hard to narrow it “Up” 😉
Happy 6th Birthday my Umie Zoomie! I promise to watch you grow into a more beautiful person and guide you when you want my help. I know you are feisty like your mama and stubborn like your grandpa, but I will always be your Auntie to hold you like a baby! You have shown me a side of life that I may have missed had you not come into mine. I am grateful that you picked us to be your family, that you are here with us. I wouldn’t change you for the world.
What a beautiful story Sabrina.
Thank you! Uma is so special to us all!
Beautiful tribute sabrina. I love the pictures. You can feel her zest for life.
She certainly has some Zest and then some! 😉
Beautiful!
A truly beautiful and inspirational post. I shall always think of Down’s and Up’s Syndrome from here on out! Happy birthday Uma!!!
What a beautiful story! Uma sounds like a wonderful little girl and is very lucky to have amazing role models in her life. Thank you for sharing your story it has touched my heart ❤
I’m so glad you got to meet Uma if only through cyber space. She is an incredible being of love and light. Thank you for reading!
Beautiful…. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this.
I love the poem!! But your post is even better. Uma is a beautiful and very happy young lady!!
Oh sorry just saw my typo! I wanted to say I shall always think of Down’s AS Up’s Syndrome from here on out. Anyway, this post was so lovely I had to read it again this morning! Truly beautiful!!
Such a beautiful little girl!
Such a feeling tribute. What a wonderful way to open the eyes of the world to a beautiful child.
she’s beautiful. My son has a little sweetheart in his grade 1 class with DS. She’s really a sweet little girl and is the topic of my son’s conversations regularly. He really likes her alot.
She is gorgeous! And so blessed to be born into a family that adores her because she is perfect no matter what she was born with!
Thank you! We are so blessed by her and her two sisters!
What a beautifully touching story, and the poem really made me think, its not where we go its what we make of it when we get there x
Happy Birthday Uma
Beautiful photos beautiful daughter thank you for sharing xx
I have goosebumps and tears in my eyes, this was so inspiring, heartwarming and full of love. Just beautiful.
I am so moved by this beautiful story about
ur beautiful niece. Well done.
A trip to Holland and Up Syndrome! This is a wonderful story and a beautiful little girl. God Bless You all!
This a very touching story about a beautiful little girl…enjoy!
Uma is such an inspiration to all of us… She reminds so much of my son Derik,,,,,,he himself had plenty of ups and downs in his life., meaning he had many surgeries, including heart surgery… I never once thought god would take him away, I learned a whole new world as i gave the world to Derik….He has become such a great man that im so dam proud of …and i thank god for giving him to me . all the love , courage, and always believe in oneself… to Uma and her family
This is so beautiful. I remember when Uma was born and Craig shared with me the news. I didn’t say I’m sorry, I said Congratulations! Uma is a blessing and just the way God intended her to be. Uma is also very blessed to have such a wonderful family.
I’ve never read something so touching ! It requires a great deal of positive energy to think like this . I’m sure there was a reason Uma chose your family! 🙂 Truly so so so inspiring .. Don’t be down , be up!!! what a thought! 🙂 hats off ! Loved your italy holland story too!
I have an Olu, he was born with an extra Chromosome, T21 also known as Downs Syndrome. Your story is beautiful how you came to love your path and see your path is beautiful. I knew from 26 weeks pregnant that Olu had an extra chromosome. I always say I never cared, I was happy all the time. I never felt a change of plan. You story helped me understand or remember why. Olu was my 41st birthday present. He came to be our fifth child. I was not looking to be pregnant or parenting anew again after my 4th. She was soon to be 7. I found out by looking to see if he would be an Olu or an Omalara. As we looked I didn’t see a fourth heart chamber, but my husband a doctor didn’t say hey look a there he has only three heart chambers so I dismissed it. He was so fast in there while they checked his ultrasound. I thought what a great swimmer, he was so funny in there I thought how happy and agile, what a great athlete. One ultrasound person left and another came in, she left and the doctor came in. We saw the doctor and we clung to the thought we hope it is trisomy 21. She showed us the heart chamber issue, the kidney issue and the brain cyst. We hoped for his peaceful transition in the womb. They considered trisomy 18. I still wasn’t sad. I wanted joy for my children that little spirits come and go. We will sing him a song and hope he can tap bye bye if he passes. We hoped a raw diet would heal his heart and kidney and brain, It did, he healed in there. He did have a VSD at birth. He came on his due date, cooked himself well for 40 weeks. He was 8pounds 13ounces. My 3rd largest baby. He nursed right away. He was a cute little Eskimo. He was a powerful nurser. I was proud and happy. I just never felt like a change in plan or shift in thought. I thought what a great new journey for our family, I asked for this as a child to have a baby with an extra chromosome, even my mother remember me saying this a small child. I created this little spirit with my thoughts what a powerful gift from my heart. I didn’t really want to have a 5th baby but know I felt anointed, and I was excited to meet him and he was all I hoped for. Never a sick day in his life, he did swallow a penny once. He is smart and cool, is the cutest in an outfit, he is determined and wise, funny and loving, fast and brave. Olu means preeminent and he is of God.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story. 🙂
Just letting you know I linked to your beautiful post
http://doulamomma.blogspot.com/2012/02/lovely-upbeat-look-at-downs.html
Beautiful little girl and what a great auntie. Much love and respect to you all.
I have an 8 year old grandson with DS, he is the light of his mommy and daddy’s world! And pretty special to old gram, too! Happy Birthday, Uma!
My son is 35 yrs old.I denied to myself for 6 months that he was”different”. I have 5 other children.He has taught us all humility and unconditional love. Our entire family is better for knowing him. I tell everyone that they are all brothers and sisters,from a lovely planet,sent to earth for a reason. I needed to learn to be humble. This has been a beautiful life for him,and I want his quality of life to be the best I can give him.
Touching
What a wonderful story
Hi Sabrina! Lisa Matulis told me about you and I’m so glad I googled you!!! I have a non profit org called Upside Of Down. My husband and I started it after our daughter was born with Down syndrome as well. I cried reading your blog entry because I felt like I was reading my very first entry on UpsideOfDown.org Thank you for sharing this story and your beautiful niece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i’ll call you re: some photography opportunities for the local Down syndrome Association and Upside Of Down in case you’re interested!
Thanks!!!
So glad you found me! I ran into Lisa the other day and she told me about You! So glad you liked my story, Uma is such a special lil girl and our lives are richer because of her. I would be happy to work with your organization. If you are interested for your family I am running a special through labor day. Have a wonderful weekend!
I just went to your site and saw the golf tournament! I would love to play! I have been a golfer for almost 20 years now. Played in highschool and college. If I can’t get a group together perhaps I can drive around and take some shots of the tournament! 🙂
Beautiful story!! Your sister is very lucky to have you as her sister!! I’m an only child and the sisterly love is one thing I have longed for all my life… I love seeing sisters who appreciate and cherish each other! Sisters are a gift… not everyone gets one 🙂